Cremation is simply a form of disposition. The body, placed in a crematable
casket, is transported to a crematorium. In the cremation chamber, a process of
heat and evaporation reduces the body to its original elements – bone fragments,
not ‘ashes’.
The act of cremation does not signify the completion of events relating to
the death.
Some provision needs to be made for permanent placement with respect and
dignity.
The act of placing cremains in a permanent setting, rather than disposal by
scattering, fills the emotional need to keep a loved one’s memory alive and to
respect the deceased with a place of honor.
To determine the answer to that question, ask yourself –
ü Am I thinking about cremation only because of economics, without
considering the possible emotional effects?
ü Have I considered my family’s feelings about cremation?
ü Am I willing to give my family the comfort and benefit of the funeral
ritual (including the chance to say ‘good bye’) before the cremation takes
place?
Remember that your family – not you -- must cope with the choices you make.
Cremation is not always the best option, especially if your loved ones
experience any negative emotions from that choice. Your absence leaves a hole in
the lives of those who knew you.
Marriage brings a change of place, leaving our family to be on our own.
Death also requires the need to leave our home and place our mortal remains
in a place dedicated to our memory.
Experience has proven that people need the emotional closure of a formal funeral
ceremony
and a permanent place of remembrance. Cremation does not negate those needs.
Ø How many people visit Arlington Cemetery and Mt. Vernon?
Ø How many people make pilgrimages to Graceland or John Lennon’s
memorial?
Ø What impact did the Vietnam Memorial Wall have on those who saw it at
Bett’s Park?
Ø How many families who lost a loved one during the 9/11 tragedy said
‘remembrance doesn’t matter’?
The sacred grounds of cemeteries provide society with the opportunity to
honor every life – to mark each passing with an appropriate
memorial or monument.
The ‘cremains’ are placed in a container or containers of your choice,
depending upon your preference for disposition. Your personal preferences
and those of your family members may include one or more of the following:
Interment – Most families select memorialization in the cemetery of
their choice, thus providing a place of permanent rest and remembrance. An
interesting statistic from a 2000 consumer survey showed that only 4% of
respondents planned to place the cremated remains in a closet, under a bed or in
another storage area; however, in 46% of cases, that is where they ended up when
no provision had been made for more permanent placement. Clearly, planning
for your personal choices and making them known is important to prevent a
similar situation from happening in your family.
Scattering – If scattering is a probable disposal
choice for you and your family consider scattering only a portion of the cremains while retaining a portion for more permanent placement. In the same
survey, almost 50% of respondents indicated a desire to scatter, but only
22% actually performed the scattering, indicating a reluctance to do
something they might regret later, since scattering is an irrevocable act.
Keepsakes – Smaller ‘keepsake’ urns are available for a token portion
of the cremated remains. These very personal & decorative containers are
designed to provide the family with one or several keepsakes for personal
remembrance, display, or permanent memorialization.
Cemeteries serve a unique purpose in every community. They are the
permanent, public repositories of the history and heritage of the people who
lived there. Unlike other cultures such as India where community furnaces
provide for the cremation of several people at a time, or some European
countries who ‘rent’ cemetery space for 20 or 30 years, then exhume and resell
the sites, our culture has always reverenced the deceased with a permanent
resting place. In fact, memorial estates (cemeteries), both large and small,
trace our country’s history since before its inception. Whether your family
chooses traditional burial or cremation, a place of remembrance and honor is a
legacy for future generations. A place of permanent memorialization serves
several purposes:
Ø To remember and honor your loved ones with a lasting tribute of his or
her life gives the family the ability to acknowledge their love for the deceased
and assists in the grieving process.
Ø The cemetery provides a place of remembrance and tribute for future
generations who although they may not visit the site often, will still know that
‘great-grandma’ or favorite ‘Uncle Bill’ is interred in a specific location.
Ø Cemeteries provide a continuity of history. There are millions of people
in America doing genealogy research and discovering once unknown family ties.
Cemeteries often serve as a resource of such information, but we cannot
collectively provide what we do not know.
For these and other reasons, we strongly encourage families who contemplate
scattering of their loved one’s cremated remains to consider a partial
scattering for the ceremony and beauty of the event, while retaining a portion
of the cremains for permanent memorialization in a cemetery setting.
Each life lived has great value: to our Father God, to the country and
community where he or she lived, and to the family – past, present, and future
generations – to whom they belong. We encourage you to discuss your personal
preferences with your family and to make pre-arrangements to ensure that those
preferences will be carried out. Pre-arrangements may seem uncomfortable, but it
is far less stressful, both emotionally and financially, than the extreme stress
of having to make decisions during a major life crisis.
cremains while retaining a portion for more permanent placement. In the same
survey, almost 50% of respondents indicated a desire to scatter, but only
22% actually performed the scattering, indicating a reluctance to do
something they might regret later, since scattering is an irrevocable act.
